When You Realize that You are the Student.

                                                       Today was the fourth month.
               
The fourth month of little brown faces covered with perfect white smiles.
                                 
The fourth month of, foolish me, stumbling over my words and seeing blank stares.

The fourth month that I realized that I am insufficient and that I need to bathe in God's Grace each and every week before I stand to teach.

The fourth month that I wanted to pull the covers over my head and just skip Sunday and head right on in to Monday.

The fourth month that I was met with huge hugs that squeeze a little more doubt out of my insignificant self and remind me that they just want me as I am.

The fourth month that I wanted to cry because the children were hungry and tore the chai from my hands as we passed it out, only to tuck it away in their clothes to take home and share with their family.

The fourth month that I saw my own children love unconditionally, playing hard and filling other children with the overflow of their hearts.

I don't really call myself a missionary but an emissary. I have been sent on a secret mission to spy on God while He is working. I get the privilege to hear Him in the prayers of Banesta, in the smile of Sam, and the cuddly hug of Christof. I see Him in the faith of Mama Damari as she fights Malaria. I have been sent to persuade others to Love Christ with all their heart and soul.
                                                                   But
God wanted me to come so that I would be persuaded to love Him with all of my life. Away from my comfort and privilege my faith has been put to the test. Will I love Him even when life is hard? Will I serve others even when I can't communicate? Will I be willing to feed hunger? Will I lay down my desires and hopes and replace them with His?
                                                                   So
This class on Sunday mornings has not turned out how I planned. I have not given them anything but they have given me everything, in them I have encountered God.  To this I say, "See you next Sunday!"